When Mette Harrison become an energetic member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she found that many fellow church participants had inflexible and doctrinaire views that required a kind of unthinking acquiescence. There turned into one correct strategy to do every little thing, one right method to consider, one appropriate option to agree with in God.
Mette has recently stopped attending church and not considers herself a member. As she navigates her post-Mormon life, she's observed that one of the crucial equal inflexible and brittle pondering characterizes some ex-Mormons. it be like they've traded in one variety of dogmatism for a further. here, she displays on five of essentially the most commonplace "doctrines" she sees in the ex-Mormon community. -- JKR
A guest publish via Mette Harrison
if you've been an ex-Mormon for long sufficient to have a social group of other ex-Mormons, you have got doubtless began to learn the doctrines of ex-Mormonism. They're much less strict than the suggestions of Mormonism, but they're nevertheless suggestions. every now and then it feels like the new suggestions are only the opposite of historic Mormon guidelines. Up is down and down is up.
There's nothing wrong with throwing off historic shackles and identifying to reconfigure your life in response to new counsel, however ex-Mormon get-togethers resemble anti-testimony meetings, people sitting around and bearing witness to the ache of Mormonism in ways that seem to be very akin to the historical memories I'd hear on speedy Sunday about how surprising Mormonism turned into. definitely, there are probably the most same travelogues, individuals happening approach too lengthy about stuff this is incidental to the testimony. as a minimum now and again there are donuts.
listed below are the true issues ex-Mormons understand are genuine:
I believe pressure every now and then from other post-Mormons to discuss how excellent it's to drink alcohol and to be in a position to relax socially with chums. I've tried a handful of drinks, taking no greater than a sip before making a face and determining, firmly, no thanks. all of them style like either flooring polish or rotten fruit to me (and sure, i know what ground polish tastes like from childhood).
Many ex-Mormons additionally say that espresso will heal you physically—that coffee and tea are a lot more healthy than the weight-reduction plan Coke and Monster drinks many Mormons use for their caffeine consumption. I'll drink espresso every now and then, however most effective with so an awful lot sugar and cream that no one could fake it's healthy.
I wager I'm no longer a type of post-Mormons who trumpet loudly that they're "so tons happier" for the reason that they left Mormonism. I adored Mormonism for a long time and still love many ingredients of it. The observe of knowledge is one of the materials that has been elaborate for me to leave at the back of.
From other post-Mormons, I hear loads of models of the following: Alcohol and/or medication will assist your sex existence. Tank tops will make you feel improved about your physique. there's nothing incorrect with pornography and it could be decent for you.
whereas I completely agree that lots of the lessons I absorbed as a Mormon about the hazards of an conceited female physique on male minds and sexual appetites seem to be wildly exaggerated now (now not to point out part of rape way of life), I'm a bit cautious about adding pornography to my intercourse lifestyles. Some horny scenes from a fine romantic comedy, despite the fact, are extremely good. And letting go of clothes has helped me think less judgmental concerning the ingredients of my body that I as soon as concept of as "unmentionable."
it can sound pedantic to aspect out that "pedophile" by way of its definition ability someone drawn to pre-pubescent little ones, which Joseph Smith actually wasn't. even if or not he was a sexual predator is some thing I'm more willing to have a dialog about.
i will not preserve Brigham younger on the argument of racism—or on essentially the rest, I admit. while i can see redeeming characteristics in different prophets of the church who were additionally racist, I'm afraid Brigham young is hard for me to uphold. I think by way of leading the Saints to Utah, he made it feasible for us to survive and he created a cohesive empire. Brutally.
I've pushed lower back with ex-Mormons on what I see as worshipping a new set of secular prophets (Reza Aslan, Yuval Harari, Jonathan Haidt, Daniel Kahneman, Jared Diamond, Bart Ehrman, Richard Dawkins, and so forth.) who're largely male. sometimes there is an exception of Brené Brown.
It's no longer that I consider that increasing your studying horizon past what is offered at your native Deseret booklet is unhealthy (my books aren't obtainable there, for instance), but I find myself asking if ex-Mormons are doing the work of finding a diverse neighborhood of authors to read or in the event that they're still relying on male ideas to examine white male worldviews in a way that looks plenty like Mormon patriarchy. Which is ironic, when you consider that one of the most other fundamental tenets of ex-Mormonism is that Mormonism oppresses women.
concerning #4, there's a strain of thinking amongst ex-Mormons that religion and spirituality can certainly not be relied on.
I've tried to point out that I'm now not attracted to making science my new God because science is a patriarchal constitution that isn't that distinct from Mormonism from my viewpoint. perhaps the "fact" of science is greater proof-textable, however I'm now not so sure anymore. Or might be my Mormon skepticism of science is, itself, at difficulty right here.
I'd like to see a little bit greater nuance and introspection. maybe that comes later? at the moment it looks like ex-Mormons are very busy congratulating themselves on getting out, on seeing the fact. I'm not saying that any of these new ex-Mormon doctrines are incorrect, however I'm not certain that they're appropriate, both. And yes, I additionally ask myself occasionally if my penchant for nuance isn't an inborn principle but when it's part of starting to be up as a Mormon girl and researching to are attempting to calm everybody down through seeing each side.
nonetheless, if there's one issue that i love about leaving the patriarchal, black-and-white constitution of the LDS Church, it's that I don't must profess my perception in any given set of doctrines, notwithstanding I find that most of the americans round me do. I'm not in that sort of social club now, so I think i will be able to continue being a thorn in the side of each community I'm in.
Take me or leave me. I don't should be quiet to maintain the peace anymore.
other posts by means of Mette Harrison:
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